Motherhood is often portrayed as a time of immense joy, love, and fulfillment. However, the reality for many new mothers is far from this idyllic picture. The postpartum period, particularly the first few weeks after childbirth, is a time of significant emotional and physical changes. While some women experience transient mood swings, known as “baby blues,” others suffer from a more severe and prolonged condition known as postpartum depression (PPD). Unfortunately, in many cultures, the struggles of new mothers are dismissed, and their suffering is either trivialized or completely ignored.
What is Postpartum Depression?
Postpartum depression is a serious mental health condition that affects women after childbirth. Unlike the “baby blues,” which typically last a few days, postpartum depression can persist for weeks or even months. It is characterized by persistent sadness, anxiety, irritability, extreme fatigue, sleep disturbances, and feelings of worthlessness. Some mothers may experience intrusive thoughts about harming themselves or their babies, making early intervention crucial.
The Unspoken Battle of New Mothers
For mothers suffering from postpartum depression, these emotions are magnified. Fear, anxiety, panic, and even thoughts of death or suicide become persistent. Sadly, many families do not recognize these signs as a medical concern. Instead, new mothers often hear remarks such as, “We all went through this,” or “Motherhood requires suffering.” Such dismissive attitudes only deepen the emotional distress of struggling mothers.
The recent movie Mrs. highlights a similar issue, where societal expectations and pressures on women remain deeply ingrained. Interestingly, after watching the movie, a viewer commented that their grandmother once said, “If a woman cannot cook, she should not be born.” This remark reflects how deeply rooted societal expectations continue to burden women, including new mothers who are expected to endure all hardships without complaint. Such toxic perspectives only add to the suffering of new mothers.
Tragically, there have been real-life cases where mothers suffering from postpartum depression have taken their own lives. One such incident involved a new mother who, overwhelmed by depression and societal pressure, died by suicide. Had she received proper support, care, and understanding, her life might have been saved. These heartbreaking incidents highlight the urgency of addressing postpartum depression with seriousness and compassion.
Breaking the Silence: The Role of Family and Society
Support from family members and society plays a crucial role in helping a mother cope with postpartum depression. Loved ones should be attentive to warning signs such as excessive crying, withdrawal from loved ones, loss of appetite, or expressions of hopelessness. Rather than dismissing her feelings, family members should offer reassurance and empathy. Encouraging the mother to seek professional help from a psychiatrist or counselor can be life-saving.
Unfortunately, in many cultures, there is a toxic tendency to compare new mothers and their experiences. Statements like “we all went through this, why can’t you handle it?” or “mothers are supposed to be strong” only serve to invalidate their struggles. Instead of competing over who had a harder postpartum experience, we should collectively work toward creating a nurturing environment for new mothers.
The Need for Medical and Emotional Care
Many women suffering from postpartum depression hesitate to seek medical attention due to fear of stigma. Mental health issues are still widely misunderstood, and seeking help is often seen as a sign of weakness. However, postpartum depression is a medical condition that requires professional treatment. Therapy, medication (if necessary), and lifestyle changes can significantly improve a mother’s mental well-being. Husbands, family members, and close friends should encourage the mother to consult a doctor without judgment or hesitation.
Emotional care is equally important. Allowing the new mother to express her emotions without fear of criticism can make a world of difference. Simple gestures such as offering to babysit, preparing a meal, or just listening can help her feel less alone. Encouraging her to rest, eat well, and engage in activities she enjoys can also aid in recovery.
Motherhood is Not a Competition
One of the most damaging aspects of postpartum depression is the guilt and shame that mothers often feel. Many believe they are failing their babies simply because they are struggling. Social media and cultural narratives reinforce the idea that “good mothers” should always be happy and self-sacrificing. However, motherhood is not a competition. There is no prize for suffering in silence or pushing through pain. The well-being of the mother is just as important as that of the child.
Conclusion: A Call for Empathy and Change
Postpartum depression is a silent struggle that claims lives every year. Many suicides of new mothers could be prevented if they received the support and care they needed. Instead of dismissing their feelings, society must step up and offer genuine help.
If you know a new mother who seems to be struggling, reach out to her. Offer kindness instead of judgment, support instead of criticism, and love instead of neglect. A mother’s mental health matters—not just for her own sake, but for the well-being of her child and family. Let’s break the stigma and start prioritizing maternal mental health today.
